Sitting Plump in the Sun

Being a mother today is very different to what it was in our mothers’ and grandmothers’ time.  

Today being a mother is not a singular occupation; it does not necessarily entail being the centrifugal force for the immediate and extended family.  A woman’s primary goal is not the rearing of the family anymore; there are bigger fish to fry. 

This is good.  Women are extremely competent, valuable members of society and should have input into the running of the nation.  They should have voice and exert power over industry, politics and change.  They should have access to finance, and freedom.

Some time ago these feminist goals were valiantly fought for.  Women now have the right to vote, the right to bear arms, they preside over major companies, and they preside over political systems and courts.

The world is all the better for this, but have we lost anything in the translation from the world women used to inhabit to the one we live in now?

We have gained so much and for so long that it is hard to explain to a young woman what it meant not to have the right to vote or have your own bank account; but have we simply gained, or have some important things gone missing from our lives?

Women now hold two jobs, not one.  

They raise the family, run the household and run a successful business whilst looking glamorous, attractive and seductive.  Their hair, make-up and nails must look better more hours of more days.  Women are expected to maintain their bottoms at the gym, get eyelifts, change nappies, put the washing out, make a great martini and secure a sale.  Nowadays they are expected to be housewife and mistress, mother and company president! 

This is busy and busy is good.  It’s fun to have pace and a social existence, it’s fun to look sexy and to make important decisions.  When you are a mother it’s good to get out of the house to retain some of the ‘you’; to still be someone.

Yet, within all of this, is there a cost?  

There is so much rhetoric these days about how much women juggle double lives, how hard it is to manage family and work, but have we essentially lost something valuable that our mothers and grandmothers had?

Was a life with less pace able to encompass more?  Was a life focused on the health and well-being of the family and outer community enriching and ultimately useful?  Did the hours spent sewing the clothes, polishing the floors, sitting with the elderly and hugging the children, provide a personal continuity and strength that is less possible in this busy climate?

Was this way of life a positive experience for women as mothers?  Did they get the time to experience and develop themselves through their relationships with their immediate and extended family?  Did they feel great satisfaction at facilitating their children’s development, providing ground for their children’s childhood? 

Did they actually have more time to themselves to create and investigate because they were not as busy being a hundred things at once?  Were they more comfortable in their own skin, did they have less to prove?  Did they feel proud of who they were as people?

Have we lost this?  We are so busy now, not just keeping up with the Jonses, but keeping up with a multitude of possibilities of media have-to-bes and have to haves.  Women now are supposed to be more and more and more.  (Mind you, even men are supposed to have a good face cream these days!)

Is this constantly busy existence helping or hindering our lives?  We chase time, we get everything done that has to be done; but are some things being left in the wings?  Are some good things being left behind in the name of modernisation?

Good things grow with light, air and time.  Children grow with time to themselves to explore.  The elderly thrive with the companionship of the family, someone to listen to them, sunshine on their wrinkly faces.  Hanging out the washing is more fun if there is time to enjoy the shapes of clouds or have a water-fight with your kids.  The afternoon passes well with a couple of feet up reading a good book – with your hair and attire looking unholy!

Relationships prosper with slow time for fun stuff without having to book in a weekend away and spend a fortune on looking just-so in something slinky.

Yes, women should be politicians, bankers, artists, lovers and fighters.  Do they have to be all of these things all of the time?  Can being a mother be a valuable full-time life?  Whilst rearing the young, is it possible to enjoy being a frumpy, lumpy housewife?  Tummy raspberries actually sound better blown on a flabby tummy and kids love a mother they can touch, cuddle and mess-up (and so do husbands!)

Taking the time to enjoy being a fertility goddess does have its advantages.  Life can be spontaneous, generous and full – full of light, air and time.

What do you think of life for women today in our society? Let us know your thoughts in the comments box below.

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