The Challenge of Change

“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” Lewis Carroll

The new year creates a blank page for us to fill, but when it comes to creating goals for our life some of us can feel a little challenged.

My friends and I have a tradition. At the end of every year we gather together and take it in turns to talk about what was the best thing that happened to us during the year and what was the worst. But when it comes to discussing our goals for the next year we all feel stumped. Along with a hangover, New Year’s day often brings a long list of resolutions that will be forgotten about within a couple of months.

Why is it that the idea of creating changes in our comfortable lives can fill so many of us with fear.

What’s Stopping You?

Essentially setting a goal is looking at a way to change your life. Whether we keep these resolutions is subject to whether or not we are able to create this change effectively.

Not knowing what we want from our future is one of the main reasons why we are unable to create goals and stick to them. However the fact of the matter is; you don’t generally get what you want if you don’t ask for it. Life is very rarely handed to you on a silver platter and if it is, well, most of the time it’s not what you ordered.

Asking for what you want from life is sometimes the first challenge you will have to overcome to reach your desired results.

This may take a degree of selfishness – but it is ultimately healthier for you and those around you if you take time out for yourself. The reason this is so important is because you can’t possibly look at the things that you need if you are constantly looking out for what others want. By making goals that truly reflect what it is that you want will make them easier to achieve because it will mean that you are reaching for what your heart desires.

You will also need to muster up the courage to believe that you deserve what you want! If it's something that you believe is unattainable, then chances are you’ will find ways to excuse why you have not achieved it.

Believe that you deserve what you ask for: only then will you be able to reach up high for it.

Where will this year take you?

Changing your life is not an easy task, whether your goal is to save more money or lose weight, whatever the desire, it will mean stepping out of your comfort zone. We grow comfortable and warm inside our little shells and changing things disrupts the motions of our lives. The truth is that change is a certainty in everyone’s life, but if you know where you want those changes to take you then the unknown will seem less daunting.

This is why you need to make very clear and decisive goals.

Write them down and be as specific as you can be and give as many details as possible. You want to get to the truth of the matter so instead of writing something like ‘I want to save money’, get into the nitty gritty. How much do you want to save? By when? Why do you want to this? How will your life change by doing this? What will happen if you don’t do this? Examine the goal from all areas and make it as clear as possible in your head. This is not a time for wishy-washy thoughts – if you really want to make a change you need to get serious.

The Unspeakable Truth

And here comes the bad news... deeply examining your heart’s desire may mean you have to face up to some ugly home truths. I know. I hate this part as much as you do.

We could all stand to be a little more truthful about what needs to be changed in our lives and what is really holding us back from making those changes. Setting the goal and passing the finish line is the fun part but the challenges to overcome will be found in between.

Ask yourself what has stopped you from making this change a priority in your life before this year. Be very clear about what you fear will stop you from reaching the goal you have set for yourself. A great way to examine the nasty realities that hold us back is to write a list of the excuses you are making (or have made in the past) that haven’t allowed you to reach your full potential. Next to each excuse write down how you can overcome this and why it is important for you to do so. Keep this list where you can refer to it should you have any setbacks.

Another idea is to put your weaknesses into perspective, for example, is that tasty chocolate treat as important to you as your health? Is that new pair of shoes as important to you as financial independence? The answer is usually no and being aware of this will help you stay focused.

If you can acknowledge what is holding you back then you can begin to make changes by overcoming these obstacles.

Just Do It. Now. Really. Now.

Have you ever set a New Year’s resolution on the 31st of December only to make an excuse not to follow it through on January 1st? You know you want to reach your goal but, it’s the first day of the year, you were up really late last night, you have a slight headache... surely you can begin making these changes tomorrow... or next week... or next month?

It’s time to wake up and face reality – if you want to make the change, and I mean really make the change, then do it and do it now. There’s no way around it because every time you put off making that change you are pushing yourself further and further away from your goal. You’re also allowing yourself to make excuses and getting away with it.

When it comes to achieving your goals there is no better time to start than today, otherwise, before you know it, it will be December again and you’ll have another year of unfulfilled dreams – and no one wants that.

Create your Own Experiences

No one else can control your life – you are the master of your own experiences, so when it comes to following your heart’s desire you are the only person that can make your dreams a reality. Whether the cards you were dealt in 2007 were good or bad, you’re in charge of your life now.

You can choose whether this concept either fills you with fear (you will have no one to blame but yourself) or fills you with a sense of empowerment (you are in control of your own life) – and at Flourish we strongly recommend the latter.

At the end of the day every decision you make has consequences, so choose the behaviour and thoughts that will give you the consequences that you desire. Your life is made of your own experiences so why not make those experiences the best that you can? Remember that your goal is something that you want to achieve for yourself and that the end result of the changes you are making will lead you to something that leaves you truly happy. Yes it will mean developing a sense of discipline but your rewards will be well worth the effort.

Whoopsie!

It’s a given, and unfortunately you’re going to have to be ready for it – at some point on your journey to goal fulfilment, you are going to face a setback (hopefully only a setback rather than setbacks). But it’s ok to fall off the wagon, as long as you get back on.

When you face a setback, look at it as an opportunity to learn from your experiences by examining why it occurred in the first place. Try to look at it from as many angles as you can to really determine why it happened and then write down how you plan to overcome it if it should happen again in the future.

More importantly don’t ever beat yourself up about it. Put it in perspective; what you are doing is trying to learn a new behaviour, and if you think about every time you’ve had to learn something new there were bound to be those moments where you made a few mistakes.

Remember falling off the wagon is not a major problem. Focusing on the fall, feeling sorry for yourself, and not getting back on the wagon is what will hold you back.

Time to Celebrate

Setting goals that are going to challenge you is a great idea but sometimes those big goals can have a finish line that seems really far away. So it’s time to celebrate – as much as you can, celebrate the little things that you achieve on the way.

Keep a journal of the little things that you have achieved along the way which have taken you towards your goal and reward yourself with something that you really enjoy like an indulgent massage or that new outfit you’ve had your eye on.

Celebrating the steps along the way will not only keep you focused on your end goal but will also motivate and encourage you to get there. So give yourself a little celebration – go on, you deserve it!

Creating resolutions and goals is an opportunity for a fresh start and I think the beauty of a new year lies just in that – the fact that we can leave whatever we choose to in the year that was and look forward to everything the new year will bring.

Good luck!

You may like...
Flourishing Women: Jodi Bibra	Assertiveness	Ditching Debt	Flourish in Your Life - Flourish OFFICE